English male Irish guy Scotch male are in a desert, castle got caught by the Germans. The Germans say, ns will offer you one thing prior to you die. The Englishman guy say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish guy says a automobile door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, since when it gets hot, it deserve to wind down the window.

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The complying with is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually emerged in Los Angeles.The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a contact that who had damaged into a store. At the scene, the cop said the Marines come "cover" him as he approached the keep (to police, "cover" means to suggest your weapons in the direction that the threat, to Marines it means to lay down a basic of fire!). The Marines promptly laid down a basic of the fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds prior to they quit shooting. The thief, probably a tiny scared in ~ this point, referred to as 911 and reported, "They"re shooting at me!"
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The sailor came house from a an enig two year mission just to uncover his wife with a brand-new born baby. Furious, the was figured out to track under the father to extract revenge."Was that my girlfriend Sam", he demanded."No !" his weeping mam replied."Was it my friend Jim then?" that asked."NO !!!" she said even more upset."Well which one of my no an excellent friends did this then?" the asked."Don"t you think ns have any type of friends of my own?" she snapped.
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An Israeli soldier who simply enlisted inquiry the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO claims "Are friend crazy? girlfriend just join the Israeli army, and also you already want a 3-day pass? You have to do miscellaneous spectacular for that recognition!" for this reason the soldier comes back a day later in one Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, that asked "How go you perform it?" "Well, ns jumped in a tank, and also went towards the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw one Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to gain a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and also as he to be walking away, the turned to the cadet and said, "I guess once I die you"ll come and also dance on mine grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir!I promised myself that as soon as I obtained out the the military I"d never stand in an additional line!"
Tom and Timothy were in the exact same regiment in the army. They were inseparable friends and spent their evenings drinking together. ~ retirement, they go to various states and also settled. However, they retained correspondence v letters and also e-mails.To save the memory of your boozing bouts alive, Tom always filled two glasses v rum and water and also sipped from every alternately!When somebody asked that why the did so, that explained: "This glass is Timothy"s; this one is mine. So ns take a sip from every - one on instead of of Timothy, the various other for myself."Suddenly one night Tom was seen with just one glass top top his table. He was asked what had actually happened. The replied, "You see, ns have offered up drinking however Timothy has actually written that he has actually not. Therefore I have put away my glass and also drink only on behalf of my friend."
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% from 86 votes. An ext jokes about: alcohol, communication, friendship, military, old people
There was a young soldier, who, just before battle, called his sergeant that he didn"t have actually a rifle. "That"s no problem, son," claimed the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just suggest it at the Germans, and go "Bangety Bang Bang"." "But what around a bayonet, Sarge?" request the young (and gullible) recruit. The sergeant traction a item of straw from the end of the broom, and also attaches it come the handle end. "Here, use this... Simply go, "Stabity Stab Stab"." The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him. The recruitment points the broom, "Bangety Bang Bang!" The German falls dead. Much more Germans appear. The recruit, amazed in ~ his an excellent luck, go "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" that mows under the enemy by the dozens. Finally, the battlefield is clear, other than for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. "Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit. The German keeps coming. "Bangety Bang Bang!" repeats the recruit, to no avail. He it s okay desperate. "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" It"s no use. The German keeps coming. The stomps the recruit right into the ground, and says, "Tankety Tank Tank."
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would certainly pick up any type of piece of document he found, frown and say,"That"s no it" and put it under again. This walk on for part time, until the general arranged to have actually the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded the the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and also said, "That"s it."

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The soldier offer overseas and far from house was annoyed and upset once his girl wrote breaking off your engagement and also asking for her picture back.A an innovative fellow, the went the end and gathered from his buddies all the undesirable photographs of women that he might find, go together them all together and also sent them to her through a keep in mind stating the following:"Dear Mary, I can not remember i m sorry one is you ... Please save YOUR photo and also return the others!"