that “More 보다 Brains” university Of Phoenix advertising Is In The running For Worst ad Of all Time

I don’t want to talk about other ads you think are simply as poor or worse. I desire to talk about how lot I dislike this one. Last night Gene Demby made me realize i am not alone in this.

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There is nothing in the human being I hate more than that college of Phoenix commercial with "If ns Only had actually A Brain." Nothing.

— Gene Demby (
You’ve seen it, right? castle won’t stop playing the on Hulu, for this reason I’ve viewed it in ~ this allude roughly 30 times. Here it is, if friend haven’t suffered already:

https://youtu.be/v2IkZZmd6RA >

My thoughts, in no certain order:

– Why is it called “More than Brains”? The whole point of the commercial appears to it is in “You’ve underestimate me in assuming ns haven’t brains, once in truth I have plenty.” What is the “more than” brain in question? Also, that makes it sound favor the track it’s riffing top top is “More than Words.” Which that isn’t! – that goddamn VOICE. It’s lilting and also yet hostile? Syrupy sweet but fucking poison. It’s the tiny girl in a fear movie who wants you to come play v her…forever. Who space you mad at? Why are you positing the audience as your enemy? I never ever TOLD YOU the YOU COULDN’T walk TO SCHOOL. WHY room YOU MAD at ME, angry REGINA SPEKTOR? – “Life’s short, talk is cheap, I’ll be functioning while friend sleep… still don’t think I’ve gained a brain?” that DOESN’T SCAN – nobody OF THESE brand-new LYRICS SCAN – every one of the actors store looking smugly and aggressively at the camera and then smile straight at us, the viewer, that they are presumably trying come recruit, WHILE additionally SUGGESTING that WE space THE people WHO have BEEN maintaining THEM under – FOR-PROFIT COLLEGES room PREDATORY and also MERCENARY and THEY GOUGE your STUDENTS and NOW THEY space TRYING to POSE together UNDERDOGS? FUCKING NOPE – One lady is breastfeeding in ~ a diner while likewise clicking ONE an essential on her computer with this look on her confront like, “Yep, hacked right into the mainframe” and also I resent this scene due to the fact that I feeling exquisitely played, favor a harp – “I took two bullets in the chest” WHAT? WHEREFORE? WHO? WHAT BULLETS? there is simply this throwaway line about being shot in the chest and then we’re off to bragging around she never ever rests, which IS no A good THING – THIS advertising REINFORCES BOOTSTRAPISM – “GOT three KIDS, I never ever REST…AND I’VE likewise GOT A BRAIN” DOESN’T SCAN one of two people – “You think a resume’s enough, who’ll action up once things obtain rough, don’t you want that sort of brain” WHAT sort – “A degree is a degree, you’re gonna desire someone favor me…but just if YOU have a brain” WHAT THE FUCK type OF TAUTOLOGY IS THIS? also NO SCANNING – That constant switch between yodeling and also whisper-spitting renders me feel prefer the initial script for this advertising was just my old roommate who was super right into mushrooms informing me I’m sheeple because that eight minutes

– Don’t execute this. Don’t ever before do this. Why is this step in the commercial? are we an alleged to laud this crude oil woman’s dismissive-as-shit “ONE SECOND” finger as somehow a authorize of her persistence and also stick-to-it-iveness? Ma’am, the library is CLOSED. You perform not obtain special library hours just since you walk to college. This defense guard is doing his JOB and his change is more than likely ending and also he wants to go home and you can’t also use her words to tell the “I’m simply wrapping up, thanks”? girlfriend SHUSH him v your FINGER favor he’s a child? That’s racist together hell, rude together shit, and also bad for people who work in libraries all over this country.

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I hate this commercial. This advertising is the poundcake speech and also someone informing a high school sophomore her outfits room too distracting and also predatory loan policies and your uncle who claims that if “he have the right to make it, anyone can” and also that’s why food stamps must be illegal, all in three minutes and also capped off through an insult to the an excellent Ray Bolger. Someone please register my main complaint through the office of advertisement Dislike. Give thanks to you for her time.